I'm not lost physically because I know exactly where I am. Key West, Florida. The southern-most city in the whole country. Farther away from my family and friends than I have ever been. I'm more along the line of emotionally lost.
The whole move and transition from city to island and working to staying at home has got me all messed up. I may not love where I live right now, but it's not permanant and I really am trying to make the best of it. Really I am. It's all just been a lot harder than I thought. Harder to start over, harder to make new friends. And I've been getting out there as much as I can. Really I am. Today Haley and I went to storytime and the local library. There were quite a few kids Haley's age, but no one wanted to play with her and no one wanted to talk to me. It's times like that that make me wish I wasn't so shy around new people. I wish that I had the gift of walking up to a total stranger and striking up a conversation and it not be so awkward. I tell myself that I can do it and then I don't do it.
The one thing I feel I've lost the most- myself. I'm not the same person that I was only two short months ago. Yes, I realize that as life changes I change too. I just miss my old self.
I'm just at some sort of something right now. I can't even describe it. I miss everything about our life in Texas. Work, friends, family. Yes, I know that things will get better and that I just need time. But I'm impatient. I need something to change, soon.
five year check up
7 years ago
Hey Leslie. You are not alone in how you feel...AT all. Who knew it would be so hard to make friends once you were an adult, right!? My family and I moved to Key West in Feb 08 from metro Detroit while I was pregnant. My daughter Lily is now 17 months old and we've yet to make friends on the island for her or for us. I'm a big mouth to all that know me, but oddly enough, it turns out that I am pretty shy when I first meet people. Be proud of yourself, girl! You put yourself out there, at least. I haven't even gotten up the guts to do the library thing yet. lol
ReplyDeleteIf you'd like to chat about being trapped like a caged animal on this tropical paradise island (I kid...but not really ;) ), you can find me on the Key West Mommies network, user name Carrie (I wasn't feeling real witty or original the day I signed up...lol). Even on that site, I find it a little hard to just jump in to what seems already established relationships, so it looks like you and I might be good for each other. ;) I hope to hear from you!