Home

It finally happened!  Zach is home!  

Even after almost two weeks, it still feels surreal and like he never left at the same time.  It's crazy.  His homecoming day is one we will never forget.

The day started pretty normal.  Both girls went to school, just like they always do on Tuesdays.  I ran all my errands and got the house ready.  After both girls got picked up, we started getting more excited.  We had an early dinner.  The girls got the hair all curled (since this was such a special occasion).  Then it was time.

As we headed to the airport we talked about all sorts of things- what was the first thing we were going to say to Daddy when we saw him, how much we missed him, and how excited we were to see him again.  It was a fun car ride.  Lots of smiles and giggles.

Once we got to the airport, we were able to get gate passes so that he would see us as soon as he got off the plane.

Then we waited.  It felt like forever.

We saw the plane land and then it was time!  I felt like I had my emotions in check up until the moment that they opened the door to let all the passengers off the plane.  Even now I get emotional just thinking about it.

We knew that there were a few guys coming home on the same plane, so we just had to pick him out of the crowd.  It is a good thing he is tall, because we spotted him before he walked through the gate door.  I told the girls that I saw him and to get ready.  As soon as Haley saw him, she yelled "Daddy!!" and ran into his arms.  I had to give Emily a little nudge, but she ran over to him and gave him a big squishy hug.  Then it was my turn.  I just wanted to hug him so hard and never let him go.  It was, and still is, such an overjoyed/emotional experience.  Tears come to my eyes every time I think about it.

We are so happy to have him home.  Our family is complete again.

Almost There!

It is finally April!  April probably means lots of different things to everyone.  Birthdays, anniversaries, tax day.  But for us, it means we get Zach back!  It's hard to believe that we are almost there.  It feels like the longest, shortest six months ever.  We managed to stay fairly busy to keep the time going by, but at the same time, it's been almost half a year!  Half a year!!  It's just crazy to think about.

It's been hard.  It's been challenging.  It's been rewarding.

It certainly gives you some perspective.  I can't imagine being a single parent.  Doing it all.  All day, every day, by yourself.  Thankfully, my time was on a temporary basis.

I tried to make the most of all my one on one time with the girls and plan lots of fun/special things.  I might have even spoiled them a little to try to make up for the fact that Daddy has been gone.

There might have been few more trips to get ice cream.

Maybe a second ride on the carousel.

Possibly a few extra lunch dates.

There might have even been a few more movie nights than usual.  Lots of wonderful memories have been made.

And boy, have I learned a lot.

I can't do it all, and that's ok.
I can still do all those things that I used to do when I was single, like pay bills, change an air filter, and lock myself out of the house.
I can even learn new things.  Like learning to use a skill saw or jump start a car.
It's ok to ask for help, because people want to help.
It's ok to let people do something nice for you without expecting anything in return.
I'm not invincible.  I can get sick too, even when my babies get sick.
It is possible to do 12 loads of laundry within 24 hours.
I am stronger than I thought.

I have to say, I am pretty proud of myself and even more proud of the girls.  Going in to it, I wasn't sure what to expect.  Were there going to be extra meltdowns?  Lots of "I miss Daddy!" moments?  But looking back, I think we've done pretty well for ourselves.  Sure there were the normal break down moments and we definitely missed Daddy, but it was nothing a hug and a kiss couldn't cure. 

As for now, we are counting the weeks and days until Zach comes home.  I get emotional just thinking about it.  But we are ready!  So very ready.

One More Month

Here we are, five months down and a little more than one to go. 

On a good day, the time seems to be flying by.  On a tough day, it feels like forever until Zach comes home.  Thankfully, there are many more good days than bad.

I did seem to hit a wall about a month ago.  We had a pretty rough week and a half/two weeks.  Nothing seemed to be going right.  The girls were always arguing, wouldn't play well together, there were sleep issues, bad attitudes, bad mommy moments, you name it.  I was really struggling.  Things started to turn around thanks to a few acts of kindness from friends.  I'm not sure that they know how much a simple lunch invitation or offer to hang out meant to me.  But it really helped us get back on the right path.

We've managed to keep pretty busy since the holidays.

Emily and I try to have a lunch date with Haley at school once a month.  She loves it because it means that she gets to eat in the cafeteria with the big kids.  And that she gets a slush from Sonic :)

 

  
We also went to the rodeo.  The girls had so much fun seeing all the animals and going to the carnival.  We even got to see some barrel racing.  Haley just thought that was pretty awesome. 

Valentine's was fairly low key.  We had heart shaped donuts for breakfast, a real treat.  It was a half day for Haley, so we ended up having a lunch date at a restaurant.  They got to wear their fancy dresses and got quite a few compliments.

 

There have even been a few pajama days.  Haley requests these often.  They usually consist of crafts, movies, picnics, and whatever else we can come up with.

I've also managed to sneak away a few times to enjoy some grown up time.  It's been wonderful to step away from mommy duties for a few days and come back refreshed.  I am so thankful to family for offering to watch my babies for me.

 

Zach is still doing well.  He moved locations about a month ago and will head back to where he was before too long.  His job isn't too demanding, so he has been able to continue to take classes while deployed.  We talk almost every day and the girls get to Skype once or twice a week.  Hopefully we'll have a concrete coming home date in the next two or three weeks.  But, it's the military and anything is subject to change at any moment.

There is one thing we do know for sure- we are all ready to be back together again.  We are beginning to see the light at the end of this tunnel.

Halfway There!

Today we are three months down!  Halfway done and on the downhill side of this deployment.

All in all it hasn't been awful.  We have our routine and the girls are pretty agreeable about 90% of the time.  I'm not going to say that everyday has been perfect, because it certainly hasn't.  I have had my share of bad mommy moments.  The stress of doing it all has been a little much some days.  But we just try to get through it and know that tomorrow is another day.  The girls will tell me every few days that they miss daddy and I let them know that I do too.  I tell them that Daddy misses them too and he will be home before they know it. 

I usually talk to Zach every day, whether it be just a quick text message or a long e-mail.  Some days I will get a phone call.  I send him photos and videos from home so he can see what is going on here.  We try to Skype as a family once a week. The girls get excited about seeing Daddy on the computer for a few minutes and then they are off doing something else.  The connection isn't always the best, but it is so nice being able to see his face and hear his voice.

About once a month we'll get a card or note in the mail from Zach.  The girls enjoy getting a letter in the mailbox.  He sent a Christmas package with a few goodies that was actually delivered on Christmas morning, talk about something from the movies.  He even sent flowers right before Thanksgiving.

 

And speaking of Christmas, our elf Holly made a special trip to see Daddy.

Enough about us.  Zach is doing well.  He is keeping busy working and continuing to take his college classes.  He's almost got two out of the way and is about to start two more.  He tells me that he really enjoys getting cards and packages from everyone.  (So thank you if you have sent him something.)  Even though he is keeping busy, I know that he is ready to come home.  He told me the other day that he had to shower with bottled water, which was a pain.  His roommate snores.  The weather has been a little abnormal and it affects the living conditions.  It's just not home.  I know being away during the holidays was hard on him.  He never said anything, but I could see it on his face and hear it in his voice.  We do what we can on our end to let him know what our days are like, but it's not the same.  He's not here. 

But three months down.  Halfway there.

The holidays definitely kept us busy the first three months.  Now it's time to get creative to fill in all these upcoming weekends.

I've been told that arrangements are already starting to be made to send his team home, so we have a rough idea of when that will be.  The girls will continue to put an x on the calendar every day until he comes home.  And boy are we ready!

2 Weeks Down

We are now two weeks into our 6 month adventure and I feel like we've done pretty well. Of course we miss Zach, but we are doing just fine. 

Truthfully, we've been pretty of busy.  We went to Sea World one day, had a play date or two,  got haircuts, went out for ice cream, swim lessons, had movie night, and a pj day.  We are definitely not just sitting around missing Daddy. 

But when we do miss him, we can go over to our wall that we decorated just for the deployment. We know what time it is where he is.  There is a map so the girls can see just where he is and where we are.  There are photos and we try to write down one thing a day to remember to tell him when we get the chance to talk to him.

Haley enjoys writing things to tell Daddy.  She was so excited that she grabbed a Sharpie and wrote "I *heart* you dad" on the dry erase board.  It was a really sweet thought, but we quickly had a chat about which marker was ok to write with.

Every night the girls get to have a kiss from Daddy.

And then we cross off another day that he has been gone.

The girls also got their Daddy Dolls about a week ago.  It has a picture of Zach in his uniform and a little message from him to each girl.  It has been a huge hit and they both enjoy being able to sleep with "Daddy" each night.

The girls take turns to say a little prayer before bedtime to ask God to keep watching over Daddy and keep him safe while he is on his deployment.

So our days have been busy and we always take time to think about him.  We have been able to talk to Zach on the phone a few times and Skype once.  The girls really enjoyed being able to see him. 

So, two weeks down and about 24ish more to go!

Saying Goodbye

The day finally came.  It was time to take Zach to the airport and say good-bye.  I couldn't even think the word "good-bye" without getting teary-eyed.  Boy was I going to be a mess.  And I had absolutely no idea how the girls would do. 

Before he left, Zach gave the girls a set of his dog tags that they could wear whenever they were missing him.

We eventually made it to the airport and were given gate passes so that we could watch him get on the plane.

We found his gate and then went on a little farther to an empty area. I had no idea how we were going to pass the time.  I didn't know if we were just going to sit and be sad together or what we were going to do.  But Zach and the girls just played.

They did exercises.

Pony rides.

And even a little dancing.

And there were some very sweet moments.

 

Finally, it was getting to be time.  Zach pulled the girls aside one by one and gave them a special good-bye.

Then one last hug.

And he was gone.

I pretty much cried off and on (mostly on).  A few people came up to us and thanked us for Zach's service.  It was a really tough morning.  Thank you to everyone who checked on us and sent thoughts and prayers our way.  Keep them coming, because you can never have too many positive thoughts.

Almost Time

Well, it's about that time.  It seems as though we've been talking about it for a while now and it is very quickly becoming a reality.  Zach is leaving.  And in a few days.

His leave date is coming a few weeks earlier than expected.  So as prepared as we were for him to go, we were totally unprepared for how everything unfolded.  We shouldn't have been, because it's the military.  Nothing is certain until their boots are on the ground. 

Zach's original assignment was cancelled early last week.  Then it became a waiting game.  Was he going to get another assignment?  Or was he going to stay put?  A few days later another assignment was in the works.  The next day it fell through.   Then it became a waiting game.  Was he going to get another assignment?  Or was he going to stay put?  Then early this week, another assignment came through.  He would be leaving as early as next Monday.  Wait, it could be later than that.  Oh wait, could be Sunday.  Nope, Saturday, definitely Saturday.  (See how nothing is certain?!)

So the past few days have been a bit of a blur.  He's been busy out processing at work and I've just been processing.  Let's be honest, I've really just been a bit of an emotional hot mess.  I'm perfectly fine one minute and the next I hear our song on the radio and tears just start pouring out.  Or someone does a very sweet gesture because of what Zach is doing and the tears just start pouring out.  But I really am prepared.  Promise. 

Truthfully, I think we are all ready for the deployment.  Sometimes it's difficult to explain to non-military people.  Obviously, we don't want him to go.  Of course we're going to miss him like crazy.  But on the other hand, we want him to go.  Deployments are part of the military life.  He gets to play GI Joe (sort of).  What guy doesn't want to do that?!  He's ready.  I'm ready.  The girls are ready, we think.

We've been talking to the girls about it a little more every night.  "Daddy's going on his big work trip, the deployment.  Remember?".  At this point, I think they are super excited to take him to the airport, because it's the airport and that's pretty cool.  I don't think they will quite get saying "good-bye", but then again, maybe they will. 

They have enjoyed playing with all of Daddy's new clothes.

But in the end, we have only a few days (or a day and a half, really) to prepare.  Maybe we are as prepared as we will ever be.  We will be fine.  Lots of families go through deployments.  We can DO this! 

The Talk

We finally had "the talk" with the girls. The "Daddy is going away for a little while" talk.

He's been bringing home some gear lately and the girls have been interested in some of it, so it just seemed like a natural time to bring it all up.

We all sat down and we talked about everything that he's been bringing home and explained that it was for a big work trip that Daddy is going on. That he was going to a place far away called Afghanistan. Daddy wasn't going to be home for a while, but we could talk to him on the phone and see him on the computer every so often. I pretty much choked back tears the whole time.

I pretty much choked back tears the whole time.

I wasn't sure how much the girls were actually understanding, but we were sitting on the couch later and Haley was next to Zach.  She looked up at him and said "Daddy, I am going to miss you." Tears started falling (that day and now as I recall it).

I know we will have to keep talking about it over the next few months, but the girls now know that Daddy is deploying to go help people.

This is certainly going to be the hardest time we've had as a family, but I am hoping the time flies by so that we don't have miss Daddy for so long.

A Sneak Peak

We recently had a sneak peak into what life will be like during Zach's deployment. Zach was gone for about three weeks for a training course, leaving the girls and I to learn the ropes of life without him. Three weeks is the longest that we've been without him, so there was definitely a learning curve.

It is amazing how quickly the days can go by when you are busy. Like all the time busy. We occupied ourselves with play dates, swim lessons, a trip to the Children's Museum, lunches and movies with friends, a day trip to see family, finding a new rental house, celebrating a birthday, and all the miscellaneous day to day things. There were a few days where we didn't leave the house. We cozied up on the couch, watched movies all day, and had pancakes for dinner (because, why not??) Not that our time without Zach was all sunshine and daisies, because it wasn't.

There were still tantrums and meltdowns. There were still bedtime battles. Just because Daddy isn't here doesn't mean those go away. The trickiest part for me was learning to cook for just myself and the girls (I equate it to meals for one and a half). When Zach is home, we have plenty of leftovers and he takes them to work. I don't particularly care for leftovers, so we needed to come up with some much smaller meals. Needless to say, we had lots of hot dogs and chicken nuggets until I could get it figured out. Some recipes I can cut in half and it works just fine. Others, I don't think we'll be eating while he is gone. But I'm fairly certain I'll be looking around for some fresh ideas.

All in all, our time while Zach was gone went just fine. The girls were able to talk to him on the phone and we Skyped (which was much better because they could see him). But three weeks is a drop in the bucket to five months. I foresee that time being a bit more challenging. I have lots of ideas on how to help the time go by and make it easier on the girls, but the reality is that Daddy will still be gone.

I am so very thankful for our friends and family who kept us busy and helped the days go by a little quicker. And I am more thankful that Daddy finally came home :)